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Because doesn’t join the thoughts of the sentence together right and, being an result, the reader may not recognize what the author would like to state. Both paragraphs indicate these difficulties will carry on later on. You have to take advantage of the transitional or connective words within your task 2 as it really is counted among the vital factors to attain an improved score in academic IELTS writing 2. The composition is normally a discourse of the issue of general interest. The matter doesn’t need to be in the 1st word, but it must be made clear somewhere within the intro. I personally such as the opinion in the beginning of the article. You constantly need a thesis.